the road beyond

from the look of things it seems like i talk a lot about change and seasons in life and trying something new. my last two entries reflect on such things.

honestly because with the upcoming new baby, one in which we will find out the gender on friday, is a MAJOR change in our family. My husband and i will officially be out number. Even that doesnt scare me, i’ve taken care of a classroom of 12, 3-4 year olds, ones who i didn’t give birth to.

but i am winding down my time as a working mom and soon i will be yet again a SAHM. there was a time in our lives when we made the decision for me to go out and earn money for the family and God has been so faithful to bless us in our decision. Literaly blessing us at every turn and choice we made. i’ve learned so many GOOD lessons and it has shaped me i will never forget my time as a working mom. my clients are sad to see me go, it is very bitter-sweet.

however like i’ve been writing about change is coming. i’m not new to being a stay at home mom in fact, its where i thrive. Having 3 kids is going to be a fulltime job. gosh, having just 1 kid is a full time job. 3 kids under the age of 7 isn’t SO bad, it could be worse.

after some soul searching and praying, my heart right now is just longing to be at home and to be a wife and a mother and have that be my only responsibility. since i’ve started working my homemaking jobs have been a little neglected. i want to get back to that and i want to work on stuff around my home and sit down and teach and play with my kiddos.

i do believe that everything that i have learned through working and basically running my own business will not be in vain and will propel me into this next phase and just make me even better as a mom, wife, and home maker.

with all this excitement does come a little fear, of course, fear of the unknown is sometimes a little daunting. in all that is practical the money wont be there, but just as God was faithful to bless us in every step of the way in working. God will be faithful in every step of the way in NOT working. We will take that leap of faith and trust in him.

through this process we’ve learned to budget, we’ve learned to save and save some MORE, we’ve learned what is most important to us, and we’ve MOST importantly learned to rest in God and not stress over what the road will look like when we cant see it fully.

So here’s to next chapters!

Cheers to working and SAHM!

A big round of applause to The One who deserves all the glory and thanks!

God’s not dead

*warning VERY long blog post*

so on our way to Life Group the other night me and Geno had the most interesting conversation. it sprung from a conversation i had with another person about faith and God himself.

it went as followed.

Me: geno, I have a question to ask you.

Geno: okay….

Me: how do you know God is real? 

*he thought a little on every answer. He didn’t just say the first thing that came to his mind every time*

Geno: because I learn about Him. 

Me: you learn about him. well okay lets pretend i’m a friend and i’m asking you these question what would you say? —-How do you know that what you are learning is real?

Geno: because it is in the bible.

Me: the bible? how do you know the bible is real and not fiction? 

Geno: because the people in the bible were real people and they wrote stuff down. 

Me: okay, but how do know that what you are learning is truth and not some lies people are teaching you. 

Geno: because I praise him.

Me: you praise him? 

Geno: yeah, like when we worship that’s what I mean.

Me: well that’s something you do if you believe in something but how do you know?

Geno: God gave us Jesus. He died on the cross for our sins.

Me: OH! so you believe in Jesus. how do you know Jesus is real? like- You praise him and believe Jesus died in your place because you’ve…..fill in the blank

Geno: Hmm…i’m not sure

Me: well did you see something or feel something? like how do you know God. is. real?

Geno: MIRACLES!

Me: miracles? like what?

Geno: like food, water, and heat!

Me: well, doesn’t your mommy and daddy work hard to provide all those things?

Geno: yeah but like first God did, like I think it was just water and then everything else….

Me: oh so like you believe He created the whole world

Geno: yeah!

Me: okay so what would you say to me if I was your friend and I said, ” how do I believe in this Jesus too?”

Geno: You can come to my church and you say a prayer and ask Jesus into your heart.

Me: well can I do it? can you help me say the prayer?

Geno: kinda…I don’t know all the words.

Me: well can you just say the same prayer you said with your mommy or daddy? can you help me say what you remember?

Geno: yeah, i’ll try.

Me: so what do I do?

Geno: first you fold your hands…

Me: okay… 

Geno: okay “dear Jesus, (I repeated after him) come into my heart. I want to be a follower of you…..”ahhh….. I don’t know the rest

Me: (being mom) okay maybe say then- please forgive me of all the bad stuff I did and help me do better from this moment on!

*he repeated and then said amen*

Me: amen!

Geno: but there’s one other thing you gotta do.

Me: there is??

Geno: you gotta get baptized.

Me: baptized…whats that?

Geno: its went you become a new person.

Me: did you get baptized?

Geno: no not yet.

Me: well why?

Geno: because I’m kinda still thinking about it.

Me: well why do you want to?

Geno: because I want all the old me and all the ‘bad’ stuff washed away and I want to be a NEW ME!

Me: who do I ask about being baptized?

Geno: mommy I don’t know that one…

Me: okay well you probably should talk to Pastor tell him you want to be baptized and he’ll set a date for it. 

 

that’s basically when we pulled into the church. but I was totally astonished with the answers he was giving me. Mind you, he’s ONLY 7 so he never really answered my question of how he knows God is real.  the answer I didn’t really want to get was, “because you and daddy tell him he’s real” never once did he say anything like that during the conversation.

I suspect a few things….He knows that God is real but he can’t explain why beucase he has the mind of a 7 year old. He just knows. you know that, “I know that I know” feeling or He really hasn’t had any ‘experiences’ to really anchor his faith yet.

of course… HE’S ONLY SEVEN!!!!!

part of me was wondering if I should even be having this conversation with a 7 year old. but at the same time this is honestly a normal conversation I would have with him, even though he is little. I always challenge him in his faith and make him think about what God could be saying. He knows that its a safe place and a safe conversation because i’m not going to make him feel ashamed if he doesn’t have the answers or even if he doesn’t hear anything or see anything.

raw moment here:

Jonathan and I have seen our friends and youth in church grow up to become adults and fall away. what ever happened to “train up a child??”

We are left with wonder and questions… mainly we question why are we different than the rest. we have doubts just like anybody else. why do we still believe? I don’t want this to happen to Geno. I know there’s really nothing I CAN do. Its Geno’s choice and God’s the only one who can change hearts and minds.

maybe at certain points in life you need to stop and have this conversation with your kids. Don’t just assume they understand or even believe just because they are going to church every sunday or even their WHOLE lives!

always point to God first. yes- we work hard to put food on the table, but the Lord is the ultimate provider and I do believe that Geno understands that.

what do you think? let me know your thoughts. give me some encouragement!

 

2 hour delays

Winter months in PA bring 2 hour delays and school closing. needless to say my son is always thrilled. 

i don’t mind them. i enjoy being around my kiddos so him staying home isn’t a bad thing.

However, he gets use to not going to school or not going in early to the point where he got out of bed at his usual time only to come in and tell me, “mom, ahh…i’m to tired to go to school.”

and then goes downstairs.

PAH-HAHAHA …. he cracks me up.

its rare now a days that i have time in the mornings to do anything…at all. including drinking coffee in an actual coffee mug instead of a travel mug. so this is kinda nice. lol

i was just thinking how before probably last winter at the earliest, i was so nervous driving in the snow. i would white knuckle the steering wheel and pray that my employer would cancel work so i don’t have to drive in it. 

now i’m usual out in the middle of it and i could care less about whats on the road. i haven’t figured out what changed though, maybe its my age or experience?

  who knows, i have people depending on me so i feel the need to not let them down, thats the bottom line for me. so maybe that’s what keeps me going on snowy days?
anyways- i’m still in my pjs and my coffee needs refreshing. stay warm my friends!

Snow days

oh to be like Marshall and have zoomies through life- to have a frisbee in your face and to not worry about crashing into a tree…..
seriously though,  my dog is a goof, he LOVES the snow and loves to herd sleds.

The recent snow storm dumped about 6 inches of the white stuff on top of the layer of ice. This was a day after we had 60 degree weather and then record breaking subzero tempts the week before. (i might be exaggerating a little on the subzero)

CRAZY…I know… (but we are use to it)

We love the snow. Sled ridding was always a favorite past time of mine and Geno enjoys it too.

Ella..not so much… but she doesn’t like going down slides at the park either. She is very content staying on solid ground walking around the paths I shoveled through the snow like road ways, on the patio. She also likes to take a badminton racket and sift the snow. 20180113_122721

Geno is very good at maneuvering his sled down our yard. He starts at some point in the woods and makes it past the trees to the driveway.

I am impressed cause i’m certain that id either

1. bail out half way.

2. crash into something or someone.

 

I use to play out in the snow forever as a kid. the snow for some reason makes you feel invincible. like you can just jump and dive on it and not get hurt. but if you tried doing that without snow it will hurt. I always found that interesting. that’s exactly what geno did when we first went out. He just jumped and dived right into it without batting an eye. (mind you its only 6 inches, not 6 feet) 20180113_122715 man oh man though, my mom would always have hot water boiling for me so I can get some hot chocolate. Me and my sister would take bread and dip it in our hot chocolates. any one else do this?

unfortunately, my son doesn’t like chocolate milk so he wouldn’t like hot chocolate, but he does enjoy warm milk which I gladly put in a coffee mug its almost the same. right?

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one thing I dislike about the snow is the fact that we are basically snowed in until some one comes and digs us out.

our driveway is a steep but short hill. enough to cause panic when sliding down it onto a busy road or not being able to get back up it after you’ve slid. down. said. driveway.

we make due. you know you have to. the world doesn’t stop when you have issues like that. you deal with it. You learn to cope.

I’ve gotten pretty good at timing the traffic and WEEEEEE! AWAY WE GO! that was the easy part.

I’ve also gotten good at knowing where to salt and shovel (when i’m on my own) on the driveway to get the right traction to take a running start and gunning it to the top!

ahh….fun times.. fun times..

 

 

On this day….

15 years ago I was 15.
20 years ago I was 10.

and the thought of that had20171025_151231 me in a bit of a panic a few days ago. I’m fine now. I think… *twitch*twitch*

 

I’m trying to collect my thoughts on this particular day. Taking a moment of silence for my sanity that has left me this week.

I’ve been trying not to define the week as an absolute terrible one. In the mist of, first time dentist appointments, loosing teeth, and turning 30…. ALL good things.

we’ve also had the loss of manners, love, respect, and obedience. So we’ve taken away the tv.

its quite interesting….NO tv for X amount of time sure makes for a more quiet evenings in the Clark house.

On top of all of that, I’ve never had to clean up so much puke IN MY LIFE then I had this whole week! my kids couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn door if they were standing a foot in front of it.

so help me….”sanity! where art thou?”

anyways- My life. It is a good one. I’ve been blessed and I try not to take anything for granted. I try to stay teachable and childlike. I try to work hard and stay open for the randomness in life. I try to drink as much coffee and I try to drink it with friends.

Its strange, my life verse is coming to my mind as this moment. I got this along time ago from a very special important person in my church AND in my life.

Proverbs 22:17-21

Pay attention and turn your ear to the sayings of the wise;
    apply your heart to what I teach,
18 for it is pleasing when you keep them in your heart
    and have all of them ready on your lips.
19 So that your trust may be in the Lord,
    I teach you today, even you.
20 Have I not written thirty sayings for you,
    sayings of counsel and knowledge,
21 teaching you to be honest and to speak the truth,
    so that you bring back truthful reports
    to those you serve?

my goal for today is just to enjoy it. spend it with the ones I love and not rush about. Try to enjoy the crazy, chaotic, beautiful, organized mess I call my life.

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