God’s not dead

*warning VERY long blog post*

so on our way to Life Group the other night me and Geno had the most interesting conversation. it sprung from a conversation i had with another person about faith and God himself.

it went as followed.

Me: geno, I have a question to ask you.

Geno: okay….

Me: how do you know God is real? 

*he thought a little on every answer. He didn’t just say the first thing that came to his mind every time*

Geno: because I learn about Him. 

Me: you learn about him. well okay lets pretend i’m a friend and i’m asking you these question what would you say? —-How do you know that what you are learning is real?

Geno: because it is in the bible.

Me: the bible? how do you know the bible is real and not fiction? 

Geno: because the people in the bible were real people and they wrote stuff down. 

Me: okay, but how do know that what you are learning is truth and not some lies people are teaching you. 

Geno: because I praise him.

Me: you praise him? 

Geno: yeah, like when we worship that’s what I mean.

Me: well that’s something you do if you believe in something but how do you know?

Geno: God gave us Jesus. He died on the cross for our sins.

Me: OH! so you believe in Jesus. how do you know Jesus is real? like- You praise him and believe Jesus died in your place because you’ve…..fill in the blank

Geno: Hmm…i’m not sure

Me: well did you see something or feel something? like how do you know God. is. real?


Me: miracles? like what?

Geno: like food, water, and heat!

Me: well, doesn’t your mommy and daddy work hard to provide all those things?

Geno: yeah but like first God did, like I think it was just water and then everything else….

Me: oh so like you believe He created the whole world

Geno: yeah!

Me: okay so what would you say to me if I was your friend and I said, ” how do I believe in this Jesus too?”

Geno: You can come to my church and you say a prayer and ask Jesus into your heart.

Me: well can I do it? can you help me say the prayer?

Geno: kinda…I don’t know all the words.

Me: well can you just say the same prayer you said with your mommy or daddy? can you help me say what you remember?

Geno: yeah, i’ll try.

Me: so what do I do?

Geno: first you fold your hands…

Me: okay… 

Geno: okay “dear Jesus, (I repeated after him) come into my heart. I want to be a follower of you…..”ahhh….. I don’t know the rest

Me: (being mom) okay maybe say then- please forgive me of all the bad stuff I did and help me do better from this moment on!

*he repeated and then said amen*

Me: amen!

Geno: but there’s one other thing you gotta do.

Me: there is??

Geno: you gotta get baptized.

Me: baptized…whats that?

Geno: its went you become a new person.

Me: did you get baptized?

Geno: no not yet.

Me: well why?

Geno: because I’m kinda still thinking about it.

Me: well why do you want to?

Geno: because I want all the old me and all the ‘bad’ stuff washed away and I want to be a NEW ME!

Me: who do I ask about being baptized?

Geno: mommy I don’t know that one…

Me: okay well you probably should talk to Pastor tell him you want to be baptized and he’ll set a date for it. 


that’s basically when we pulled into the church. but I was totally astonished with the answers he was giving me. Mind you, he’s ONLY 7 so he never really answered my question of how he knows God is real.  the answer I didn’t really want to get was, “because you and daddy tell him he’s real” never once did he say anything like that during the conversation.

I suspect a few things….He knows that God is real but he can’t explain why beucase he has the mind of a 7 year old. He just knows. you know that, “I know that I know” feeling or He really hasn’t had any ‘experiences’ to really anchor his faith yet.

of course… HE’S ONLY SEVEN!!!!!

part of me was wondering if I should even be having this conversation with a 7 year old. but at the same time this is honestly a normal conversation I would have with him, even though he is little. I always challenge him in his faith and make him think about what God could be saying. He knows that its a safe place and a safe conversation because i’m not going to make him feel ashamed if he doesn’t have the answers or even if he doesn’t hear anything or see anything.

raw moment here:

Jonathan and I have seen our friends and youth in church grow up to become adults and fall away. what ever happened to “train up a child??”

We are left with wonder and questions… mainly we question why are we different than the rest. we have doubts just like anybody else. why do we still believe? I don’t want this to happen to Geno. I know there’s really nothing I CAN do. Its Geno’s choice and God’s the only one who can change hearts and minds.

maybe at certain points in life you need to stop and have this conversation with your kids. Don’t just assume they understand or even believe just because they are going to church every sunday or even their WHOLE lives!

always point to God first. yes- we work hard to put food on the table, but the Lord is the ultimate provider and I do believe that Geno understands that.

what do you think? let me know your thoughts. give me some encouragement!



I heard something on the radio about prayer the other day. It was about prayer and how if you needed an answer, or advice on something most Christians turned to 3 things.

  1. people- if you needed advice on what to do Christians turned to those closest to them.

that’s okay i thought, God places people in our lives full of wisdom for a reason. but we turned to them first instead of God?

now the next is what stocked me.

2. social media

3.  prayer.

social media ranked just a tab bit higher than prayer. what???? this seemed wrong to me. very wrong. to me it was like we were putting social media on the same level that God.

GOD! the all knowing, all powerful, creature of the universe!

it got me thinking a lot about prayer. Now I pray. I know how powerful it is and I know how important it is to a Christian’s relationship with God. I know it works, but sometimes I have trouble committing time out of my day to pray over things and seek God.

I’ve always prayed through out the day. Usually when some one or something pops into my head without reason I take that as the holy spirit prompting me to pray. And of course I always pray when I  don’t know what to do or need a miracle. but daily committed prayer I’ve always struggled with. So I was challenged to pray for 30 days.

30 days of set aside time in my morning to pray. my goal is to make it a habit. something done for 28 days or so, I heard, can lead to it being a habit and that’s what I want.

During my prayer time I simply intend to just seek God. Let him pour his wisdom into me and to let Him share his secrets with me.

During this morning’s prayer time I’m already encouraged and empowered to go about my day.  How awesome is that!? I haven’t painted in a long time my favorite medium to work with is pastels and chalk. i love to get my hands dirty and20171012_105943 blend the colors together to soften the edges. i worked with water color pencils which i am experimenting with. so what i did today was a mixture of both.

i’m no artist by stretch of the imagination, haha in fact most of my works you HAVE to stretch your imagination to see what i was trying to do.

i don’t have any deep meaning behind what God was showing me but i can explain the picture for ya.

I saw a bunch of arms stretched upward and in the middle of each hand I saw these globes, bright and warm. kind of like little balls of fire. Nice fire, not crazy wild things. everything was peaceful and cozy. the arms were almost flower like. all displayed like a field of wild flowers, which i love. There! simple as that.


if you want to challenge yourself join me in my 30 days of committed prayer and make God #1 on your list.

totally randomness

My bird feeder is empty but the birds still come back expecting there be seeds in it. They search through the open shells in hopes to find one seed they can take back. I think they come cause they know it was at one time a place where they could find food.

I have no idea why I said that… maybe it has some meaning behind it maybe it was just something I observe this morning. who knows…

I’ve been thinking about a few things in no order of importance:

  1. I hate this weather. which if you know me you know I dislike snow even more so, but I’m ready to move on. I’m for something new
  2. Jonathan and I have embarked on a new journey as Den Leaders for Geno cub scouts. We are the TIGERS! Jonathan is all in his glory and watching him teach the little cubs what he remembers in the same building that dons his and his brothers’ artwork STILL when they were in cub/boy scouts is something to be in awe about. I’m the den mother.. (Teehee) anyways I’ve been thinking of ways to teach them the scout law and oath and all the harder parts to earn their Bobcat badges. there are 12 points to the scout law and some are BIG words for 1st graders to say let alone remember. my brain is working endlessly cause I want every cub to earn their badge.
  3. Geno and I got to go to the Pens game recently. SO much fun! they lost terribly…hence the expressions on our faces…20170930_182649 thank goodness it was preseason and doesn’t matter. I was pretty proud of myself for driving downtown finding a parking garage and all that jazz with out the help of Jonathan I may add. I would have never done that last year. So I’ve grown so much and learned so much in the past 10 months. I’m not the same person I once was and that’s a good thing.

we’ve been trying desperately for a few years now to get Geno’s hat signed by none other than Geno #71(Evgeni Malkin). 2 Stanley cup parades, countless games, a few photos on the pen’s blog and paper. it hasn’t happened yet. the man at the game who took our ticket said to us, “Don’t stop trying! Don’t give up! You never know when your lucky day will come”  of course we won’t our day will come.

4. I recently started learning how to play piano. In the most broadest sense. I wanted to learn just for myself. I wanted to stretch myself a little and I thought the best place to learn was going to worship practice, Jonathan is already there cause he plays bass I might as well come too? yah? my goal was to learn to play songs and have them not sound completely terrible. I basically had one lesson, watched others play like 4 times, practiced endless amounts of hours at home and I found myself standing on stage for worship playing with the worship team last Sunday. I was blown away. what an honor! it was the best experience ever. and I am eager to do it more. However, I hesitate, not because I was nervous or scared (even though I was)

(raw moment right here) I hesitate cause I never saw myself playing on the worship team as a keyboard player. yes I was on the worship team as a singer years ago, but that’s easy-peasy. I am VERY much a worshiper. I love to worship and sing and dance so the pieces all fit. why wouldn’t I join?  Well, just because its good and most of the pieces all fit doesn’t mean its what’s BEST. Everything thing in me says YES! JOIN! but I guess there’s another little part of me that says lets pray and seek and find out if this is where God wants me.

its not at all bad to be on the worship team, no! but for my story maybe there’s some place BETTER God wants me to be. I want that instead. if God say yes! worship team it is then YAY!!! I will dive in whole heartedly but if he says no I got something better than so be it. we shall see what he says. I do not have an answer as of yet. maybe I’m thinking to hard about this I don’t know but I don’t want to rush into anything without giving it any time in prayer or any thought. 



well that’s enough of that.

if you think about me through the day pray for me. better yet! if you have anything I CAN pray with you about just let me know, I’d be happy to stand with you in prayer.